When I was younger, I wasn't the most popular kid. Nowhere near. You know that selection process where everyone stands against a wall and two “captains” pick their teams by alternating between them? Well, I was always one of the last. Nobody really wanted me on their team and when I was finally chosen, I was given some crappy position or task so that I wouldn't get in the way.
So,
I tried to become more popular by trying to please everyone.
That
was hard work especially as there were a small group of people who I
just couldn't seem to please no matter what I did.
Then
around the age of 13, I read an article on presentation. It started,
“About
10% of the world will hate you no matter what you do. They will hate
you just for being you. And 10% of people will love you no matter
what you do. The other 80% will love you or hate depending on …
blah! Blah! Blah!”
I
had stopped reading by that point. My eyes were glued to those
beginning sentences. 10% of people will hate me. And I could name
those people. And there was nothing I could do to change that
situation. They were going to hate me until they died. And the only
thing I could do about it was accept the situation. It didn't mean
that they were bad people. It just meant that I rubbed them up the
wrong way. So I stopped trying to get them to like me.
What
a relief!
I
felt the weight lifted – and I had more time to spend on others who
appreciated it.
This
is an old story (as you will soon see), but one day a girl came up to
in front of a whole of my friends and her friends and the following
happened:
Girl:
I hate you.
Me:
Good. That's great.
Girl
(very confused): You must've misheard me. I hate you
Me:
I heard you. The answer is still good. You see, there are 6 billion
people in the world and I can be friends with all of them. So if you
hate me, that still leaves 5 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 998
other people I have to work with. So thank you for making my life
easier.
Then
I thought about it.
If
some people were going to hate me just because I was me, why was I
wasting my time trying to pretend to be someone else. So, I stopped
trying to please anyone and started pleasing myself. The true irony
was that as soon as I did that, I became more popular – much more
popular. I was a little confused. So I asked people why they suddenly
wanted to be my friend. They told me that I wasn't “fake”. They
told me that they loved the way I had opinions and I wasn't going to
change them if they were unpopular. But they told me that they most
loved the fact that I Would give honest answers to their questions.
They may not like the answers I gave them but they knew that I was
not being malicious and I wanted to sincerely help them.
Then
I thought about it some more.
10%
of all the people alive today (7 billion and counting) is 700 million
people. WTF? 700 million people. I can't be friends with that number,
I'm only one person. That's more people than live in the EU. So I
thought, why am I wasting my time on the other 80% who are
indifferent to me by trying to get them to like me when I haven't got
the time to spend on people who actually want me to spend time with
them?
So
I decided, for my sanity, to make more people hate me. And it was
surprisingly easy. All I had to do was be the same person and do the
same things as others loved:
- I'm not fake so that shows up all of the people who are trying to fake it
- I hold opinions and I won't change them just because they “upset” or “offend” other people. My attitude is “You don't like what I say? Fine go away and stop listening to me”
- And people especially hate my honesty. I cannot tell you the number of people who have said “That really upsets me”. And I say “Well, it should because that behaviour/attitude/lifestyle choice is hurting you and upsetting the people who care about you. Oh by the way, I'm not one of them. If you want to carry on screwing up your life, it makes no difference to me”
So
go ahead and hate me. It's only making my life easier
Change
,
Haters
Credit:
The header image is available as wallpaper from Wall.Alphacoders.com
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